


Carelessness to Human Love

by Athena13



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Conspiracy, F/M, Jealousy, Mourning, Rebound, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 23:43:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athena13/pseuds/Athena13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After "The Field Where I Died", Mulder's certainty in his fate leads Scully to question her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written 1998-1999. I took liberty with the episodes following "The Field Where I Died", especially since if the date stamps and other clues are correct the month of November in 1996 ran about 60 days and in two different dimensions (Tunguska Terma and Paper Hearts both begin on November 24, for instance). I am pretending that Sanginarium didn't occur. Please don't expect this to be episode fic for the fourth season, it isn't!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 **Read by Scully**  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Hearts are not had as gifts, but hearts are earned_  
 _By those not entirely beautiful;_  
 _Yet many, that have played the fool_  
 _For beauty's very self, has charm made wise,_  
 _And many a poor man has roved,_  
 _Loved and thought himself beloved,_  
 _From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes._  
           “A Prayer for My Daughter” by William Butler Yeats

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 **Chapter 1**  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Hamilton County Coroner's Office  
Chattanooga, Tennessee  
Thursday, November 14, 1996: 5:30pm]

Children do not belong in drawers.

This was FBI Special Agent/Doctor Dana Scully’s thought as she watched the sun set over the Tennessee horizon. The end of this horrific day could not come soon enough for her. Of course, it wouldn’t be over until she found her partner and helped put him back together, yet again.

The body of the last child had been examined and put to temporary rest in the cold and clinical drawers of the Hamilton County morgue. She could have passed those duties on to the local medical examiners, but she wouldn’t allow that to happen. As a consequence, those were the images burning behind her eyelids as she closed her eyes against the bright sun tried to neck massage her tension head away.

Melissa.

Her eyes popped open. Why did she have to have her sister’s name? She tried not to care, tried to be detached, but it made her even more protective of the ill woman. Not a shot at redemption, but another chance. Maybe that was part of Mulder’s delusion, too?

At the thought of her partner her jaw clenched. So much had been lost on this journey and Mulder’s faith seemed to be another part of that loss. Hearing his tales, his image of her shoring up the faith that he had lost in life after life, shook her own faith. Made her question what it was she was seeking and if they would ever find it?

Or would they end up in drawers, too?

It made her so angry. Angry at the faceless men who were doing this. Angry at herself. And angry at her partner.

Mulder had once again put his personal issues ahead of the case. He had latched on to that ill woman who had witnesses numerous crimes, who might have been able to prevent this waste of life, and used her. And Scully acknowledged that she had let him. Not since the case in Comity had she been so utterly disgusted and disappointed with him.

Never in all of their partnership had she seen him afraid to give voice to his outlandish theories. Even, hell, especially in the face of the most strenuous mocking he held firm to his beliefs. Even when she believed he was letting his emotions override his common sense had she seen him so blatantly disregard the lives they were responsible for. He was self centered much of the time, consumed with his quest, but usually it made him all the more effective at their work. She didn't want to think about tomorrow, or the next case they went on. Could she trust him? Would his apparent desperation continue and endanger him? Mulder wasn't all that good at learning his lesson, denial and self castigation were more his style these days. If not his whole life.

Lost in her own thoughts she was startled by a hand touching her shoulder.

"Agent Scully." It was the steely voice of her boss, Assistant Director Walter S. Skinner. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now. Are you all right?”

"I’m fine." She schooled her features before turning around to face him. “Did we find the weapons?”

"Not yet." He turned his own eyes towards the sunset.

"Beautiful sunset."

Scully broke out into a genuine smile at the uncharacteristic show of sentimentality. Her smile faded when she realized his hand was still on her shoulder, and that it felt warm and strong. Comforting. It cracked something inside her to be touched like that.

"The children were abused." She didn’t hide the tears that choked her, but she did pull away from his touch.

"How long has it been since you've gotten some sleep, Dana?"

"About as long as it has been for you," Scully answered. “I couldn’t sleep yet.”

"I bet it’s been almost as long since you’ve eaten. As your superior it would be remiss of me not to order you to remedy that. Come on."

They walked together to Skinner’s rental vehicle. Before he closed Scully's door he leaned in. "Even your soul looks tired," he said gently.

Scully frowned as he walked around to the driver’s side of the car. This case, this place was doing something strange to all of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Listen to the wind blow_  
 _Across the great divide_  
 _Voices trapped in yearning_  
 _Memories trapped in time_  
 _The night is my companion_  
 _My solitude my guide_  
 _Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?_  
      “Possession” by Sarah McLachlan  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Unnamed Field  
Apison, Tennessee  
Same Time]

_I miss you._

The picture his usually scrupulous partner swiped from the library dangled limply in FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder’s hand. He was standing at the edge of a field watching the sun set, remembering that before this same sun had risen he had been convinced that he had died in this field lifetimes ago. Now, this photo, along with the fixation he allowed himself to travel down in a desperate attempt to replace his loss of faith would join the other images of this tragic case.

_“Dana, if, um, early in the four years we've been working together... an event occurred that suggested or somebody told you that... we'd been friends together in other lifetimes... always... wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?”_

Why had he asked that question? The image of his partner frozen in the face of his unprecedented question was burned in his retinas. He had called her Dana, for god’s sake.

Then she had said she wouldn’t change a thing and had returned with evidence supporting his visions. He lifted his hands and looked at the rudimentary photos. What exactly did Scully think it supported, though? That Melissa Reidel had heard the local lore and mixed it into the pathology of her illness? That his creative and intuitive mind had picked up on it and made it about his search? Or that they had lived life after life together in which she died for him?

Oh, who was he kidding? She didn’t believe it. How could she? Even he could now see the holes in his stories. For one thing, Cancer Man couldn’t have been an SS agent when he had been working with Mulder’s own father in the United States. If he was his own psychologist he would point out the metaphors.

_I miss you._

Melissa Reidel Ephesian's voice ripped across his mind. The pain and longing that laced her voice still sent chills down Mulder’s spine. The longing and the agony in her voice was unmistakable and touched an identical longing deep inside him. It reminded him of himself when Scully was gone, and if she should ever be gone again. That was subject of his stories, over and over again.

A tear ran down his cheek, the setting sun reflecting its light off the evidence of his inner torture.

~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Wingate Inn Parking Lot  
7310 Shallowford Road  
Chattanooga, TN: 7:30pm]

"Agent Scully? Dana?" Skinner gently shook the shoulder of the woman leaning against the passenger window asleep.

"Hmm, what? I'm sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean to fall asleep." Scully sat up and blinked. “Thank you for dinner.”

Skinner moved back and held the passenger door open. “Agent Scully, are you going to be able to get back to sleep?”

“I think so.” Scully straightened her suit jacket.

"Then you wouldn’t like a drink? There's a bar across the street." Skinner continued. Scully shook her head.

“Goodnight, Agent Scully.”

"Wait.” Scully put a hand on Skinner’s arm. “Everyone from our team is probably there, I just don’t feel like the attention. I know it's against regulation for agents of the opposite gender to consort in a motel room, but you are the boss and perhaps you can flout the rules this once?"

"Well, Agent Scully, since this case is officially under BATF jurisdiction and we both could use a drink, I don’t see the harm in it. I'll go across the street and grab a bottle of?" He let the question dangle.

"Whisky would be great. I'll get some ice. Give me fifteen minutes and meet me in my room, fifteen." At his nod, she headed for her room.

Skinner watched her go, sighing over the exhaustion evident in the droop of her shoulders and her stilted gait. He knew that it wasn’t just physical.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Room 15]

Scully closed the door to her room and leaned against it. She pulled her cell phone out and dialed Mulder’s number. She clicked the phone off with an aggravated sigh when once again she got his voice mail. Fine, then, she thought to herself, tonight she was going to deal with her own wounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Unnamed Field  
Apison, Tennessee: 6:10 pm]

The sun had set and the wind had long ago whipped his hair and clothes out of place. The pictures were still grasped in his hand. His eyes were closed, as if he was gripped with an intense physical pain. He struggled to catch his breath. The chills running through his body were not completely due to the now chilly air.

_It's so hard to wait._

Mulder knew all about waiting. He had spent twenty three years waiting. Waiting for his sister to return and make everything magically better. Waiting for his parents to love and forgive him. Waiting for Scully to return. Waiting for Scully to leave. Just plain waiting for his life to begin and the pain to end.

No, Fox Mulder was no stranger to waiting, but no one was ever waiting for him until Scully.

Was that what those visions meant? That I no longer need to wait, that I already have someone by my side already? She's probably waiting for me right now back at the motel. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs those hours and days of introspection and lack of sleep had wrought. He shoved the pictures into his coat pocket and walked away from the field. The field where he had died, but something else was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Wingate Inn  
Room 17: 6:30 pm]

Mulder pulled into the motel parking lot, turned off the engine and just sat until he was ready to face Scully and feel worthy of her tender care. He finally got out of the car, feeling lighter in spirit than he had since arriving in Tennessee and headed for his room. Once inside, Mulder threw his suit coat down on the bed and headed to the connecting door and knocked.

~~~~~~~~~~  
[Room 15]

Thank goodness Skinner is along on this trip and picked the motel, Scully thought to herself as she enjoyed the thickness of the towels she was drying herself with. It was a small and welcome balm after the last couple of days.

Tomorrow, she reminded herself. Tomorrow I can leave this place and never return. I've seen enough of Tennessee to last me the rest of my life. Or many lives. Whatever.

Just as she started to close her new baby blue silk robe over her still damp body there was a knock at the connecting door.

"Just a second!" Sighing she smoothed the silk against her body, making sure she was adequately covered before she went over to open the door. As expected, a battered looking version of her partner stood smiling sadly and, she noticed, winningly.

"Hi," Mulder said quietly, his eyes red rimmed state obvious even in the half light coming from her room.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently.

"I just wanted to let you know I was back and to see how you are." He looked guiltily at his shoes.

"I'm fine, Mulder. Have you had anything to eat today?"

"Come on, Scully, that would smack of sensibility." Mulder gave her his patented little boy smile.

Scully gently placed her hand on his stubbled cheek. "Why don't you go get something to eat and get some sleep? It's been a real long couple of days," she said softly.

Mulder closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. He reached out and put his right hand on her shoulder and began unconsciously caressing the silk of her robe. "Come with me, we’ll order something completely bad." Mulder opened his eyes when a knock sounded on Scully's room door. Mulder reached for his weapon.

"Relax, Mulder. It's just Skinner." She walked to the door and opened it.

Mulder nodded and suddenly noticed what his partner was wearing. Her hazel eyes reflected the baby blue of her silk robe and her wet, red hair shone in the light. He swallowed the excess saliva that pooled in his mouth with some difficulty.

Skinner waved the bottle of whisky he had scored at the bar across the street triumphantly, oblivious of the other agent present. He took in her appearance without her seeming to notice and turned and put the bottle down on the table.

What Scully was oblivious to, however, Mulder noticed. It was the very symbiosis that had helped them save each other time and again. _He_ hadn't missed the flare of lust in their superior's eyes.

"I'll be a minute, I have to finish changing." Scully retreated to the bathroom to finish dressing.

Mulder stood silently at the connecting door, watching Skinner watch Scully's progress into the other room. He cleared his throat and his jaw stiffened even further as he saw a slight flush spread across Skinner's cheeks.

"You look like crap, Agent Mulder. Might I suggest you get something to eat and some sleep?" Skinner said in his no nonsense voice as he eyed the other agent, as if he hadn't been caught ogling his subordinate.

"Scully just suggested the same thing. I was going to get us something now," Mulder responded stiffly. His eyes letting his boss know he had caught him and he wasn't fooled.

"You might want to ask your partner first, Agent Mulder. We already had dinner," Skinner said in a low voice as he moved closer to the obviously angry agent. "While you’ve been running around making this case about you, your partner has breaking her back and her heart examining _dead children_ , Agent Mulder." Skinner put one hand on the connecting door. “I thought someone had to make sure she took care of herself since she is usually too busy taking care of you."

An embarrassed and angry flush spread across Mulder's face. "How lucky she is to have someone as selfless as you to look out for her," he hissed, uncaring that he was talking to his superior.

Skinner saw the guilt in Mulder's eyes and knew he had scored a direct hit. Skinner sighed and started to apologize, but Mulder interrupted him with a wave of his hand.

Just then Scully came walking up behind them, dressed comfortably in leggings and a T shirt. It reminded Mulder of their first case. With her hair pulled back in a headband she looked as young and fresh as she had then. He hadn’t seen her look like that in a long time.

"Why don't you pick something up next door to eat and join us? I think we can all use a drink," she invited.

Mulder's eyes softened at Scully's invitation, but he refused to let himself give in to the need to be in her company. He would just bring her down. "No, thanks, I'm beat. I'm just going to go for a run and crash. I promise I'll eat first. Night." Mulder gave a half hearted salute and retreated back to his own room.

Scully let him go without protest. Despite her invitation she didn't think she was up to dealing with him tonight. She eyed the whiskey longingly, remembering how pleased she was to finally be old enough to sit down with Ahab in his study and share a drink. She looked over at Skinner who was busy pouring them three fingers of whiskey into the short hotel glasses. I’m not drinking with my father tonight, she thought as she watched Skinner's white dress shirt draw tightly over his broad shoulders as he moved. She smiled as Skinner turned around and handed her a glass.

They made a silent toast and they both sat down on opposite sides of the table, both determined to ignore the man staying in the adjoining room.

~~~~~~~~~

Mulder closed his side of the connecting door with a definitive click wishing he could close off the images in his mind as easily. He could still picture Scully virtually naked before him in a silk robe that brought out the sea in her stormy eyes. Stormy because of all the she had endured because of him he acknowledged ruefully.

Mulder had long suspected that Skinner found Scully attractive, had noticed how their superior’s eyes would follow her around his office, but he never imagined Scully would allow him around her in the casual and intimate way they were right now.

He wondered if he had been so busy watching Skinner watch Scully that he had missed Scully returning the attraction. He sat down with a thud onto his bed as this last thought crossed his mind. What if she wants him? Why else invite him to her room?

You're a profiler, Mulder, figure it out. One, she worships her Navy Captain father. Two, she had a relationship with her Academy instructor, an older man in authority. Three, Skinner was a former marine who still had military bearing and was also an older man in authority. Ding, ding, it appears we have a winner Agent Mulder!

He stood up and began pulling running clothes out of his suitcase all the while thinking how this might impact their work. Their partnership.

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Had a dream_  
 _A drowning dream_  
 _I was in a river of pain_  
 _Only difference this time_  
 _I wasn't calling out your name, yeah_  
 _Has it ended before it's begun_  
     “City” by Natalie Imbruglia  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Room 15: 2:00 am]

Scully slipped out the hotel bed where Walter Skinner was sprawled out in slumberous innocence. Scully took a moment to smile at the incongruity of the sleeping Skinner to the hard ass she dealt with at work. Although, hard ass was apt. She admired the view for a moment longer before moving away to find something to put on.

She quietly searched through the suitcase she never had a chance to completely unpack and found sweats and a T shirt and hastily threw them on. With a last glance at Skinner she slipped and padded the short distance to Mulder's outside door and knocked.

No answer. She pressed her ear against the door hoping to hear something from within when she was startled by a tapping on her shoulder. She gasped and spun around into the sweaty and broad chest of ATF Agent Tyler.

"He's gone." Drew Tyler motioned at Mulder's door. "I saw him leave hours ago. He had his bags, I don't think he was heading back to the compound," he continued oblivious to her sudden distress.

Scully thanked the other federal agent and quietly reentered her room. 'What the hell is wrong with him? Why now, all of a sudden is he grasping at this soul mate thing and letting it ruin his life?' Scully leaned back onto the wall and bent her head in despondency for a moment before re entering her room checking the connecting door. She found Mulder's door still unlocked and she entered the dark room.

The moment she closed the door she could tell he was gone. It was as if the very air was different when Mulder occupied it. This room didn't have that essence of life she always associated with her partner’s presence. Agent Tyler had been right. Mulder had ditched her, again.

Scully's stomach sank as she imagined the lengths Mulder might go without her there to stop him. The man would drill holes in his head if he thought he could read the answers on his brain in a mirror, she thought fearfully as reached for the phone and dialed his cellular number with practiced ease in the dark room.

"Mulder."

Scully closed her eyes in relief. "Mulder it's me, where are you?"

"Um, at the airport," he said cryptically, not bothering to mention the airport in question was Dulles back in D.C. or how many flights he’d had to take to get there.

"Are you all right?" Scully closed her eyes as her concern for her partner once again overrode her frustration.

"Yeah, Scully, I just want to get home. I can't do anything else there." This was his monotone answer.

"About Melissa Ephesian…you're not planning on..." Scully trailed off, uncertain how to voice her fears.

"No Scully, I'm just going home, not to my next life," Mulder said dryly, instantly understanding her unspoken concern.

"Then I'll see you back at work." Scully breathed a silent sigh of relief as her partner hung up the phone with his usual lack of social amenities. She let the phone slip out of her hand onto the bed as her head dropped to her chest.

"Scully?" Skinner's voice called from her room. "Is everything all right with Mulder? Did something come up on the case?"

Scully walked back into her room and saw Skinner wiping the sleep out of his eyes while the blanket slid down and bared his muscular chest. Seeing him awake she was suddenly struck by the enormity of the impulse she had given in to the night before.

“Sir, I was just checking on Mulder. He went back home.” She closed the connecting door and stood looking at him.

"Does this mean we don't have to be quiet this time?" Skinner asked with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Scully’s jaw dropped at his audacity. Then she grinned and climbed back into bed and let Skinner help her stop thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall out from Scully's uncharacteristic reaction to Mulder's past lives exploration begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex warning.

~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Past yourself forget the light,_  
Things look dirty when it's on  
Funny how it comes to pass,  
That all the good slips away  
And there's no one around you can remember being good to you  
“Shame” by Matchbox 20  
~~~~~~~~

For years now he and Scully had been united, walking down the same path and suddenly one of them had veered off. Driving from the airport Mulder felt as if he had taken a wrong turn. Except that turn had nothing to do with his driving. With a rare burst of self-awareness Mulder admitted he couldn’t really be surprised. For the past year, ever since Melissa Scully had been killed, he'd been alternately pulling her closer and pushing her away. Wanting to keep her near and wanting to keep her safe, two aims that could not co-exist together. 

Tonight was no exception. He had left Tennessee telling himself he was done there, but really to avoid Scully. And now, he admitted as he pulled out his cell phone and pressed “1” he was pulling her near again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Wingate Inn: Room 15]

Scully leaned over and picked her phone up from the night table. "Scully."

"Um, hi," came Mulder’s awkward voice.

"Hi?" Scully repeated the unfamiliar word coming from her partner’s mouth. "Are you okay Mulder?" That, on the other hand, was a familiar question.

"Yeah, I, um, just wanted to apologize for running out on you. I know you have to get back to the exams tomorrow. I, uh, should be there. I just wasn't thinking, as usual." 

A greeting and apologizing? “Mulder are you drunk?”

"No.” Mulder’s sigh filled the phone. “Having trouble sleeping?" Mulder asked, concerned.

"You just called me,” Scully pointed out. “I could have been sleeping.” Before the words were fully out of her mouth Skinner’s voice rang out. 

"Scully!" Skinner yelled from the shower. "Get your fine ass in here!"

Scully felt her face turn ten shades of red and she closed her eyes. Mulder disconnected the line. Scully dropped it back on the table. Suddenly, the permission she had given herself to take care of Dana, felt wrong. More wrong than sleeping with her boss. But then she felt the burn of anger. She had every right to have a personal life at least once a decade. She pushed the blanket back and headed towards the shower and the man who was gloriously naked under its spray. She couldn’t turn back the clock now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _And I'm crying like a church on Monday_  
Praying for these feelings to go away  
So do me a favor baby  
Put down your new god  
And love me like Sunday again  
“Crying Like a Church on Monday” by New Radicals  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Friday, November 15, 1996  
2630 Hegal Place  
Alexandria Virginia  
Apartment 42: 3:30am]

Mulder lay, fully clothed, on his infamous black leather couch which doubled as a bed when he had trouble sleeping. His head was pointed towards the ceiling that he stared at intently as if trying to memorize all the cracks in the plaster, as if his photographic memory had forgotten. He was lit only by the blue of his television from which moans and screams emanated.

In truth Mulder wasn't seeing either the ceiling or the images on his screen, but rather his sharp mind was sifting through the evidence laying dormant in his memories, trying to figure out exactly when he had missed Scully and Skinner's relationship advancing to the stage where his excruciatingly private partner would engage in such intimacy within view of their co workers and him.

He closed his eyes as a memory suddenly popped into his head. It was just last month, they had returned from their case with Gerry Schnauz. She had refused to talk to him about it, saying she was fine. When he had dropped her off at her apartment the light had been on. She had claimed at the time that she had left it on. When he asked if he could come up, she had said, again, she was fine and that she just wanted to get to bed. Scully never left the light on when she was out of town and he had been worried that someone might have broken into the apartment. She had looked vaguely uncomfortable told him not to worry and he had let it drop. 'She didn't invite me in for a cup of tea that night either, Skinner must have been waiting for her,' he realized now.

Mulder opened his eyes and let his gaze drop to the television, trying to drown out the sound of his boss' voice in his partner's room. Saying "those" things. Then another memory came to him. This time a few months ago. An ATF FBI picnic he hadn't attended, but Scully had and Skinner had been there too. That alone should have given him a hint. 'You're a bonehead!' Scully was openly displaying her relationship, friendship, or something more he didn't know, for practically the entire Justice Department to see.

'If they weren't serious she would never have appeared at a business function with him! You blind fool!'

Mulder didn't stop to think whether his infamous ability to take the most tenuous of clues and come up with an answer was failing him.

Unbidden, images of Scully and Skinner making love appeared before his eyes. Skinner caressing her, touching her, tasting her. Scully grasping...no! He wasn't going to go there. He wasn't going to imagine his boss like that!

'How could Scully?!'

Before he could totally shake the images from his mind they changed. Now it wasn't Skinner worshipping Scully's body, but himself. Mulder closed his eyes and began to imagine caressing Scully's breasts, then tasting them. The sounds of the movie seeping into his fantasy.

Still caught up in his fantasy, Mulder wasn't cognizant of when his own hand reached down and began to perform the very actions he was imagining Scully doing. He opened his suit pants and pushed them down his hips and then began to caress himself through his boxer briefs, moaning as he imagined it was Scully's hand.

Within in seconds, a wet spot appeared on his underwear. Hurriedly he pushed down his underwear. He placed a finger on his pre come and circled it around the head of his erection. Then slowly, he grasped himself and began to spread the moisture all over himself.

As he slowly milked himself his hips began to thrust. "Scully," he cried out and began to tighten his grip and move his hand faster. He threw his head back and his body began to shudder. Faster. Tighter. Faster. Wetter.

"Sculleeee!" he cried out. "Oh God!"

Instead of finding release as quickly like he usually did, he got even harder. His body knowing that if Scully was indeed touching him he wanted it to last as long as he could. He loosened his grasp and once again milked himself lightly and rhythmically.

"Oh baby!" he whispered as he pre came even more. His cock was bathed in moisture making his hand slide even easier. Finally, unable to stop himself he began to tighten his grip. Within seconds he was pulsing against his palm.

"Scully, Scully, Scully," his last cry was laced with desperation as cum began to spurt from his penis and slide down his hand.

~~~~~~~~~  
 _shame, couldn't try you,_  
couldn't step by you  
and open up more  
shame, shame, shame  
“Shame” by Matchbox Twenty  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Monday, November 18, 1996  
8:00 am]

Scully came walking into the X Files office bright and early, but Mulder had beaten her in. As she entered the room she spied Mulder sorting through X Files and slamming in and out of drawers.

"What did that drawer do to you?" she asked dryly as she leaned back and crossed her arms, desperately trying to act nonchalant.

Mulder violently slammed the drawer he was looking in. He turned and faced Scully who hadn't flinched. He didn't quite meet her eyes and told her he had finished her report on the Ephesian case.

"Any word on our next case?" Scully asked as she walked further into the room.

"Why don't you ask Skinner?" Mulder looked her in the eye for the first time that morning.

Scully remained silent as she slunk down into the chair in front of his desk.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Mulder yelled at her. "Fucking Skinner! Our boss! He works for Them. Have you been screwing around with him this whole time? Have you spying on me this whole time, Agent Scully?" he hissed at her.

Scully looked up at him, cringing from the rage in his face and the contempt in his voice. "No. This was the first time," she admitted quietly.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Mulder asked, his voice laced with pain.

Scully shook her head. "I, I don't really know. It wasn't planned, it just happened. We had a few drinks. I got upset. He comforted me. It just happened," she said brokenly. 

Mulder turned away, unable to continue looking at her. "He comforted you. So, if I had been there I could have fucked you too?" he asked sarcastically.

Scully stood up, anger overtaking shame over her actions and guilt at not being completely honest. "How the hell would I know Mulder? It's not like you were there. No, you went running off in despair over your soul mate. Shit!" she exclaimed and took a calming breath. "I did something you don't approve of. Something I'm not sure I approve of. But dammit, Mulder, it's not like you don't do stupid and reckless things, but do I attack you for them? No, I stand by your side.”

“I haven’t been sleeping with Cancer Man.”

Scully’s head jerked back as if she had been slapped. Her eyes narrowed. “I know you’re not jealous. So what is it? Are you shocked to find out that I'm not perfect? That's my role in this partnership isn't it? To be the perfect, rational one so you can do whatever the hell you please? What's wrong? Upset that your faithful sidekick left your side to satisfy her own needs?" 

Mulder turned around and looked at Scully.

For a second she thought he was going to acknowledge her words. She was dead wrong.

"Slut."

"What?" she asked in shock.

"You. Are. A. Slut," Mulder slammed his desk to emphasize his words before grabbing his jacket and walking out the door. Leaving Scully standing alone in his office.

~~~~~~~~~

Scully walked through the streets of Washington D.C. in shock. She had stood in Mulder's office for almost half an hour, unable to comprehend what her partner of four and a half years had just said. She couldn't even think the word. The words. For over four years she had stood by him, no matter what he did. One mistake and she was tossed aside like so much rubbish.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she should have gone up to Assistant Director Skinner's office to check and see if they had another case. For that matter, she should have gone back to her desk in the fourth floor bullpen and gotten her coat. It was cold in Washington, D.C. in November. But at that moment, what she "should" do didn't mean a heck of a lot.

She couldn't bring herself to do anything she should. But then, that was what all this was about. What she should be doing and what she did do. At least by Mulder's standards. And even her own.

Her night of passion with Skinner hadn't been planned and she had no idea where she stood with him. There had been no discussion of the ramifications or post coital course of action. There hadn't been time. Scully suspected there also hadn't been the inclination on either of their parts.

Scully had flown back to Washington with Skinner. They had been in such a rush to pack and get to the airport there hadn't been time to worry about the future. It wasn't until they got home that the awkwardness started, when they were finally alone again and could have discussed, things. They hadn't spoken over the weekend either. Oh, Skinner had called, but she had asked him to give her some time and he had respected that.

That wasn't how Dana Katherine Scully operated. All courses of action were meticulously thought out and all ramifications were faced head on. Sure there were a few aberrations over a lifetime, but none with a superior. Well, other than Jack Willis, but he had only been a temporary instructor not someone she had to report to indefinitely. Someone she knew loved her.

Scully stopped walking and closed her eyes. She knew that Skinner loved her, or thought that he did. She had seen in his eyes when he made love to her. She was pretty certain that she didn't return those feelings. She respected him. She was definitely attracted to him. In a big way. Just the thought of him made desire pool in her stomach despite her current guilt and turmoil. But love? Maybe in time?

'No! What am I thinking? I can't get involved with my boss!' she told herself sternly as she stumbled to take a seat at the bench she had spotted nearby. She dropped her head in her hands and forced herself to take calming breaths. This was all too much. Mulder. Skinner. Her career. Hell, her sanity. Any choices she made about one would impact the other. Although there was a good chance that Mulder might never forgive her.

'Wait a second? He'll never forgive me? What the hell does Mulder have to forgive me for?' she thought angrily, suddenly feeling vindicated. Then she suddenly realized that it wasn't that simple.

The X Files were Mulder's life. Her actions with Skinner might, in his eyes, threaten that. Scully herself didn't think so. She trusted Skinner, that much she was certain of. She would never have let herself lose control with someone she didn't trust. She also believed Skinner was a man of honor and that he wouldn't try and exact retribution if she couldn't return his feelings. Or told him they couldn't let what happened ever happen again.

'Now, if I could just convince Mulder of that.' She stood up. Relieved to have decided on a course of action, for one of her problems, anyway. Mulder would have to understand and forgive her. They shared a special bond, didn't they?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Somewhere in Virginia]

Mulder closed his eyes against the sting of the sweat running down his forehead. He had been running for over an hour he discovered when he looked at his watch. He hadn't been paying attention, intent only on the sound of his feet hitting the pavement and blocking out the thoughts in his head.

He leaned his hands on his thighs and doubled over trying to catch his breath, which was made all the more difficult due to the cold air.

After a few minutes he felt able to stand again and looked to see where he had ended up. God, he had no idea. Whatever was an hour's run away from Alexandria. He hadn't even brought any money for a cab in his sweats. He had his ID and a gun, but no cash. 'Genius,' he thought as he turned back and started to walk home.

He knew that he could probably get a ride home using his ID and getting the money when he got home, but he preferred to walk. His head, now that he wasn't running, was far from clear. He couldn't believe what he had said to Scully. He could think it. He could write it to himself. But he shouldn't have said it to her. He didn't understand why he did.

He felt he had every right to be angry and disappointed. She had slept with their boss. Someone he still sometimes worried wasn't on their side. But four and a half years, one abduction, one murdered sister, and many rescues later he had no right to doubt her loyalty. Or to hurt her in that way.

Mulder took a cleansing breath. For Scully to have done what she did she must have been really devastated by the case. Scully just didn't lose control like that. At her word he had already dismissed his earlier thoughts that they had had something going on previously. He admitted he tended to be self centered, but he wasn't that oblivious. Or that bad of a psychologist, profiler, or investigator! No, Scully worshiped her control. She must have been devastated by the bad turn of the case. She must have felt responsible for all those deaths. And then she had to study the evidence of that perceived failure.

Mulder thought she was wrong. She wasn't at fault. No that failure was undoubtedly his own. He was so damn selfish. He had wasted their time looking for his own personal interests, instead of concentrating on the case, on profiling Ephesian. He had found his own personal X File and he pursued it, damn the consequences. Regardless of the consequences to his partner who was often left taking responsibility for not preventing his stupid actions. His partner who refused to accept the fact that not everything was within her control.

He began to pick up his pace, eager to get home. He had to apologize to his partner and figure out how they could rectify the situation with their boss. He was probably going to be disappointed that Scully wouldn't be sleeping with him again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Scully's exhilaration of moments before waned as she realized that she would have to go back to the Hoover building to retrieve her car keys and cell phone in order to try and find her partner. That meant she might run into Skinner. And she wasn't prepared for that.

'Dammit Starbuck, when did you turn into such a coward?' she scolded herself as her father would have done. 'When I sinned with my boss many, many times within less than a twenty four hour period,' she groaned to herself as she felt her knees weaken below her.

She had done all she could to not think about the depth and breadth of the passion she and Skinner had shared that Thursday night into Friday afternoon, but the reality that she would have to face him very soon weakened her urge to return so quickly. She turned back and returned to the bench she had just vacated, vainly trying to regain her equilibrium.

She leaned back and closed her eyes, willing herself to think of something else. She sorted through the periodic table. She started to recite her senior thesis. It was no use. She could even feel his hard body against hers. She could remember how safe she felt when he surrounded her. She could remember how hot she felt when she touched him. When he touched her. It all had been such a surprise.

_They had finished half the bottle of whiskey. Both were sitting safely on their respective sides of the hotel room table. The radio was on in the background, drowning out the noises of the hotel and soothing them as the alcohol took effect._

_Scully was laughing at Skinner's last story about his early days with the FBI. Skinner downed the last of his glass of whiskey and Scully passed him the bottle for a refill. She was just finishing her third glass and she felt the alcohol singing through her veins. She wasn't drunk, just feeling warm and relaxed. She watched impassively as Skinner stood up and walked over to the ice bucket._

_The corners of her mouth curled up as she got a great view of her boss's tight ass. Well, they had called him that enough. Sometimes she had just wanted to tell Mulder it was definitely true, but had always refrained. Now, however, there was no reason she couldn't take a small peek. Or a long studied one. Whatever._

_The noise of the ice bucket distracted her from her perusal of her boss' ass. They were out of ice. She looked down at her glass and realized that she would need some shortly as well. 'He brought the booze, the ice is my duty,' she told herself as she stood up and walked over to get the ice bucket._

_In her slight alcohol daze she had misjudged the distance to the dresser where Skinner was standing. Or more correctly, was turning away from and coming back towards her with the ice bucket. Before she could stop herself she found herself bumping in to him with full frontal contact._

_"Whoa," Skinner steadied her with one hand. Unfortunately in his gallantry he had tried to move aside and had stepped on her bare toes._

_"Ow!" she exclaimed and bent down to comfort her poor toes._

_Skinner hastily put the ice bucket down and bent down to assist her. "I'm so sorry, Scully. Are you okay?" he moved her hand to examine her toes._

_"I'm, uh, fine," she said hesitantly as she watched his large hands tenderly examine and rub her toes. She seemed mesmerized by the image._

_"Does this hurt?" he asked as he touched each individual toe gently._

_"No, they're not broken," Scully smiled. "It was nothing, I was more startled than hurt." Despite her comforting words she felt her heart begin to pound in her chest._

_Skinner looked up, his face only inches from hers, doubt and chagrin clearly written across his features._

_Scully leaned forward and put a hand on his forearm. "I'm a medical doctor and I assure you that my toes are fine. They just look small and dead." At her own words her mouth opened in horror and tears came to her eyes._

_Skinner immediately dropped her foot and grasped her hand before she could pull away. "No, Scully, wait, please." He pulled her towards him, intent on comforting her quickly rising grief as she obviously flashed back to her horror filled work of that day._

_Scully was off balance when he dropped her foot so that when he pulled her hand she was hopelessly out of control and the momentum carried straight into Skinner. Or more correctly onto him. He had been crouched down when she flew into him and he was in turn knocked off balance at the contact. He landed on his back and she half on top of him, half on the floor. Their faces, however, we mere centimeters apart now._

_"Shit, I haven't had that much to drink," Skinner mumbled as he caught his breath._

_Scully's face flamed in embarrassment at their predicament. Her left knee had landed between his legs. At least disaster was averted there. Her upper torso, however, was flat against his chest. Her breasts were flattened on his chest. Her lips, their lips, were so close that she felt his words rather than heard them. Scully felt her nipples harden._

_The pair were frozen as they tried to figure out how to nonchalantly extricate themselves from their tangled position. "Um, I think I can put a hand." Scully tried to suggest something she thought would prevent more bodily contact. Or at least more embarrassing bodily contact. Scully, however, had a B.S. in physics and quickly realized that no matter how she moved she was going to come into contact with something of his that she didn't want to. Well, something he didn't want her to, she thought dazedly. "No that's not going to work," she said and brought her eyes back to his._

_Instead of responding or offering any gallant suggestions Skinner looked like a deer in headlights. Scully was perplexed. They were two intelligent, take charge individuals. They were investigators._

_Certainly they could figure out how to get out of the current predicament. Filled with determination, Scully's earlier embarrassment subsided. "Surely two intelligent adults can resolve this situation." She smiled at him._

_Skinner's eyes only widened as he felt her words on his lips._

_Scully's eyes squinted in confusion. 'What's wrong with him?' she wondered. "Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" she suddenly realized what must have happened. Heedless of their position, her doctor instincts kicking in, Scully began to move so that she could push herself up and examine him. Unfortunately, she couldn't get any purchase on the carpet since she was sprawled against him and she slipped. And discovered what his problem was._

_Skinner's eyes closed and he groaned in utter mortification. She could see the blush creep up his face._

_Now that her face was in his neck and her lower body was flush against his, Scully reflexively began to move her body to a more comfortable position. She quickly discovered the reflex was just plain unhelpful as she now found her face hovering over his and her lower body straddling his. Straddling him._

_Straddling Skinner._

_Straddling Skinner's erection. A Skinner erection. The revelation echoed in her mind as he body remained paralyzed for a few seconds._

_She started to curse her small size and was about to move when she realized that Skinner had recovered his composure was looking at her expectantly. Obviously he wasn't going to help her salvage the situation. She opened her mouth to tell him to stop being an ass when suddenly his arm snaked behind her head and crushed her lips against his. Her open mouth a perfect target for his tongue. And he took advantage of it._

_Scully tried to pull away from him. She really, really did. But when he bit her lower lip, well, her resolve fell apart. The sharp, sweet pain of his teeth startled her and caused her body to jerk. Specifically, her lower body to jerk and rub against his lower body. The moment she felt his erection rub against her she was lost._

_Even through their clothes. And Skinner found out he was the one in trouble as she began to ravish him right there on the floor in front of the dresser._

_Scully audibly groaned and rubbed her thighs together at the memory. She was too caught up now to stop._

_Suddenly Scully stopped resisting and began to kiss him back. Her tongue investigating his mouth like the good little FBI agent she was. Her lips nipping his. Her teeth biting his tongue and lips._

_Skinner moaned at the change, at her enthusiasm._

_Scully never did anything by halves, she wasn't about to start now._

_She arched her hips and pressed herself against him as she moved her lips and tongue over the rest of his face. Her breasts rubbed against his chest as she moved over to lave and nip his sensitive ears. She knew they were sensitive by the moans Skinner couldn't control as she began her worship of him._

_Scully, the part of her that was still capable of thought, couldn't believe she hadn't melted yet. The heat between her legs where she was rubbing against him was so intense. And he was so big. Then that part of mind wondered what the hell had been wrong with her all these years for never imagining this before. It certainly would have made all the times she was getting reamed out by him much more enjoyable. There was that big desk...not now!_

_Skinner finally recovered his motor control and moved his hands under Scully's T-shirt and began caressing her back. As she moved to go back to his left ear he slipped his hands in front and began to caress her breasts. Her braless breasts. Something he had taken note of early in the evening. He let out a groan of pleasure for finally being able to touch them._

_Scully let out a moan and arched her back to give him better access to her sensitive breasts. All thoughts of what she was going to do to him lost as he lifted up her shirt and pinched her nipples and then took one in his mouth._

_"Oh God," she moaned as he suckled her right nipple. She began to rub herself against his stomach, bereft that she was no longer in contact with his hardness. Her movements unconsciously synchronized with his suckling._

_Scully felt hers core begin to contract as he moved onto her left breast. He suckled it hard and fast. Faster, she moved her body to match his sucking._

_'Oh my god,' she thought in shock. 'I'm going to come on his stomach!' she began to move faster and faster. She tightened her knees around his waist and began to ride him. "Oh god, oh god, oh god," she cried, losing control of her senses as her silk underwear stuck to the moistness of her clitoris and rubbed against her with unbearably pleasurable friction._

_Just when she felt herself clench for a final time before the expected orgasm, he bit down on her nipple. The shock and the pain set her off and she let out a scream as her body went wild. "Aaaaah," she screamed her pleasure, her body still tight and thrusting around him._

_A few minutes later her panting subsiding, she came to find herself sprawled with her chest over Skinner's face. Luckily he had thought to remove his glasses before he began to torture her. 'Oh god, we haven't even taken our clothes off yet!'_

_Scully propped herself up on her hands and looked down at him, a shy smile on her face. Skinner smiled back at her. Before Skinner could say what was on his lips Scully leaned down and placed herself back on his unabated erection. She began to move herself against him, feeling him growing against her as her wetness seeped through both their clothes and moistened him._

_Scully suddenly stopped her movements and stood up. Skinner looked frightened, as if she was going to leave him hanging, until she put her hand out. He placed his hand in hers and let her help him stand up._

_Still holding hands, the agents stood looking at each other. Again Skinner tried to speak. Scully shook her head and pulled him to the bed. A better explanation would be she pulled him to the bed and then pushed him onto it. Before Skinner could sit up, Scully put a hand on his chest and held him down._

_When she was sure he would stay where she put him, Scully moved her hand and got down to business. First she removed her sodden clothing. Clothed only in her T shirt she bent down and began to remove Skinner's sneakers and socks. Once removed she sat down and began to massage his feet. Skinner let out a moan as she rubbed away the tenseness of the last few days._

_Just when he felt himself drifting on a cloud of relaxation he felt her tongue take his toe into her mouth and suck. His penis twitched in reaction. Probably jealousy. Definitely jealousy as he felt her tongue begin to circle his big toe seductively._

_Scully worshipped all ten of his toes and moved onto his feet. Caressing and licking. Skinner had never realized the arches of his feet were an erogenous zone._

_Once his feet were fully worshipped, Scully moved up and began to open his jeans. She pulled them open and looked at him. Neither lover said a word. After a few minutes Scully looked away and began to ease his pants over his hips and down his legs. Leaving his now overly tight boxer on._

_Then she returned to the bed and wordlessly direction to move all the way onto the bed and lay on the pillows. He complied._

_She then gave his legs the same treatment she had given his feet. Every millimeter, every muscle of his leg was massaged. And caressed. And licked. As she got to his thighs, his erection got even harder and longer, precariously straining his boxers._

_He opened his eyes to see a sly smile on Scully's face and a twinkle in her now sea green eyes as she watched his body's silent reaction to her touch. He looked at her and silently begged her to touch him. His erection begged too as it lifted and leaned towards her._

_He groaned at the look and flopped his head back down on the bed at her evil grin._

_Then he felt her hands under his T shirt pushing it up his body as she removed it. Then she sat herself down, again, on his stomach. He felt her wet, hot, naked core on his stomach. She was so aroused her juices were dribbling down his stomach. His penis was nestled in her ass._

_'Oh God,' he arched his back pressing into her._

_She began her worship of his chest and neck. Like his feet and legs every part of him was taken care of. His nipples bitten. His neck licked. His pectoral muscles massage. His stomach the proud recipient of her undulating hips and clitoris._

_Scully finished the treatment of his torso and leaned over. She nudged his nose with hers until he opened his eyes. Then she initiated a deep kiss. She slipped her hands around his neck to support his head. The kiss went on and on. Her hips still undulating against him. He was certain every second that she was about to take him inside her, even through his underwear. He was wrong._

_Before he realized she had gone he felt her hands slowly begin to pull down his boxers. Once they were off his body she tossed them across the room and began to caress him. There. Finally._

_"Oh, Scully," he whispered. "Yes, like that, oh yesssss!"_

_Scully continued her massage of alternating rhythms until he thought he would go mad. "Oh, please, oh please," Skinner begged, uncertain what he was asking for. He got more than he expected._

_Suddenly he felt her tongue caressing his glans, tasting him. Skinner was sure he had died and gone to heaven. This had to be a dream._

_"It's no dream," Scully said and put her mouth around him and took him deep into her throat. He had unknowingly said the last part out loud. Scully sucked him and massaged him with her tongue. She felt him begin to pulse as his semen prepared to erupt, but before she could bring him to release she felt a hand on her head urging her up._

_She looked up and saw his pleading brown eyes. "Please, inside you," was all he managed to say._

_Scully slowly released him from her mouth and began to crawl up his body. Just as she prepared to thrust down on him he surprised her. She grabbed her waist and flipped them over. Once he was on top of her he removed the T shirt she was still wearing and began to kiss her body._

_As he nipped her abdomen he let his fingers slowly trail down her body until they reached her flame red curls. Without stopping his licking and laving, he very slowly entwined his fingers in her pubic hairs and began to slip them down to her wetness. As his fingers touched her clitoris it was Scully's turn to moan._

_A slave to his own needs, Skinner didn't take as much time caressing her as he wanted to. He could still feel her lips around him and his need hadn't abated. He slipped two fingers inside her and found her more than ready. She was sopping wet and thrust herself down onto his fingers. 'God, she was so tight!'_

_"Please," she begged as he had not too long ago. Skinner was more than happy to comply._

_He positioned himself until he was near her entry. "Protection?" he realized with a sinking feeling. He hadn't exactly come prepared for this!_

_She pressed the packet she always carried in her medical kit into his hand. He had no idea when she had gotten it out, but he didn’t waste time asking and put it on. He leaned back over her and looked into her eyes, making sure she hadn’t changed her mind._

_“Please," she pleaded breathlessly._

_Without another moments delay he slowly entered her._

"No!" Scully said out loud. Several people around her turned to look at the woman who appeared to be schizophrenic. She hurriedly got up and started to walk to the Hoover building. One way or another, things had to be settled. With Mulder and Skinner. And herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully and Skinner face up to what happened and vow that it will never happen again.

~~~~~~~~  
 _And your world falls down_  
And you're there calling out  
But it's something I can't say  
Though it seems the only way  
Buts it's a game I can't play. Not today!  
I got my ticket  
“Left of Middle” by Natalie Imbruglia  
~~~~~~~~  
[Monday, November 18, 1996  
Hoover Building  
Security Entrance: 10:17 a.m.]

"Agent Scully," Federal Marshall Brad Tuckman stopped the woman on her way back into the building. "Assistant Director Skinner asked that you go to his office as soon as you returned to the building."

Scully pasted on a smile and thanked the man for his unwelcome message. 'I should have seen this coming,' she thought as she pressed the elevator button to take her upstairs.

As she walked down the hall to Skinner's office she practiced in her mind what she wanted to say. 'This was a mistake. A lovely, wonderful mistake, but we can't let it happen again considering our positions with the Bureau.' Maybe the wording would change a little, but that was the general idea. Of course, her body was screaming in protest at the idea it would never happen again. It really wasn't looking forward to more drought years.

Kimberly, Skinner's red-haired assistant, looked up as she entered. "He's waiting for you. I'll let him know you're here." Within seconds Scully was directed into the Lion's Den.

"Agent Scully," Skinner rose from his seat and motioned for her to take her usual seat in front of his desk.

She remained silent and sat down. She watched as he turned away from her and looked out the window trying to gather his words. She sucked in her breath at the sight before her. His hard physique was in shadows as the sunlight diffused around his body. He truly was like a Greek God. She could vouch for that now. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This is what she had been afraid of, that she would be in his office and wouldn't be able to imagine anything but his naked body and his touch. Thank God Mulder wasn't in here with her for this first encounter.

"Agent Scully are you all right?" Skinner's voice interrupted her reverie. She hadn’t realized her had turned back around.

"I'm fine, Sir. You wanted to see me?" she decided to let him take the lead.

"I need your final autopsy reports for the Ephesian report."

Scully's face flushed slightly, a little surprised and relieved that this was a business call. "Yes, Sir, they are completed. I had them messengered here over the weekend. You should have them by now."

Skinner reached over. "Kimberly, please call the messenger service and see if they have anything for me that they failed to drop off."

The two agents hit a conversation lull as they looked at each other. "Agent Scully." Skinner was the first to break the silence. "Would you care to accompany me to lunch? I believe there are some more details about the events in Apison that we still need to discuss."

Scully felt her heart speed up at his words. The time for reckoning had indeed arrived. Well, she was prepared for it by now. "I think that would be most beneficial, Sir. There were some questions for my non forensics report I would like to ask you about," she played along. His concern was clear: his office might be bugged.

"Fine. Why don't we go now while I can still escape," Skinner reached for his suit jacket.

"Let me get my coat and meet you downstairs?" Scully stood up. Finding Mulder would have to wait.

"You went out without your coat before?" Skinner said almost to himself. Before Scully could figure out how to respond he continued. "Meet me at my car in the garage. I'll drive."

Scully nodded. He was right, this conversation was better off away from the Bureau, but no way was she going to have to rely on a ride back from him afterwards. "Why don't we take both of our cars? I may be called into Quantico this afternoon for an examination in the Melon case."

"I forgot about that," Skinner played along. "Meet in the garage, we can decide where to go from there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[Hoover Building Garage]

Scully walked over to where Skinner was already waiting by his car. The two stood staring at each other for a few minutes. "Sir, where are we going?"

Skinner sighed and wiped a hand over his face. "Scully, please don't call me 'Sir' right now. We both know what this is about and it's a bit unnerving."

"Yes, Sir...Walter," Scully grimaced. Scully was beginning to doubt that this was a good idea. Why couldn't they just say what had to be said now, he had to agree with her? "Walter, is lunch really necessary?"

Skinner looked at her intently. "There are cameras here. Meet me at Bodie's," he said and turned away.

Scully walked towards her car. He was right. There was nowhere they could talk around the Hoover building or the District without being seen or overheard. As she drove to the Diner in Virginia she tried to get her body under control. 'It's only natural. It's only been two days and well it's natural my body is still expecting it. It’s chemicals. Neurotransmitters. Hormones.' She tried to rationalize her lingering desire for her boss by reciting the post-sex chemical processes that everyone went through.

'Damn!' she smacked her steering wheel. This wasn't working out the way she had planned.

~~~~~~~~

In his car, Skinner's jaw was set and there was fury in his eyes. A fury directed at himself. He had fully intended to tell her that what happened was an aberration and would never happen again, it could have been done cryptically in his office, but he had been thrown off balance by his body's reaction to the beautiful agent. He had known for some time that he was attracted to her. More than a little, truth be told, and it seemed that now that he had acted on it he wasn’t going to be able to so easily put it aside and ignore it. Scully had a right to know how he felt, it might affect them on the job, he just needed some time to get things back under control.

~~~~~~~~~  
 _what we lost here is something better left alone_  
second steps have been forgotten  
will you tell me how they go  
set yourself, situate, like a fool try again  
there's no one around you can remember being good for you  
“Shame” by Matchbox Twenty  
~~~~~~~~~  
[Bodie's Diner Parking Lot]

Scully got out the car and felt her cell phone hit her leg. She pulled it out of her coat pocket and studied it for a few seconds. If Mulder did cool down and decide to call her, this wouldn't be a good time. She turned the phone off and tossed it onto the passenger seat of her car. Then she slammed the door and walked over to Skinner's car.

He opened the passenger side lock and motioned for her to get in. Once Scully was seated he started the car and began to drive. Scully watched the scenery, such as it was, pass by, not bothering to ask where they were going. It probably didn't have a name.

After ten minutes Skinner pulled to the side of the road and left the car running. Scully already felt hot in her wool coat and the heat on full blast. She was damn sure it was the car heater making her burn up.

Skinner steeled himself and began to speak. "Scully, I know this is a lot of furtiveness, but I didn't want to have this conversation where we could be overheard. If what happened in Tennessee had been a simple kiss, or even one time." Skinner cleared his throat and began to blush, much to Scully's amusement. "We might be able to brush it off as an aberration. As a one time mistake. I had hoped to do that today anyway. Don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable." Skinner broke off. "I'm not doing too well here."

Scully decided to let the poor man off the hook. "I understand. I had intended the same thing. It was nice, amazing even. But you are my superior. We can't let it happen again," Scully finished quietly.

"Yes, that's what I was trying to say. I could have found some way to express that in my office, but the truth is that I want it to happen again. I mean my body does. Badly," Skinner admitted, his discomfort with his candor obvious in his voice. His physical discomfort was apparent in the stiffness of his posture.

Scully turned away and leaned her face on the cold window, trying to cool the heat in her face. And burning through the rest of her body. The sparks of pleasure that shot through her at his words couldn't be blamed on the heater this time. 'Oh God, I want him again too,' she reluctantly admitted to herself.

"I don't mean in my mind, in my mind it's wrong. My body, however, doesn't seem to agree," Skinner reiterated ruefully. "That is more than obvious."

Despite her better judgment, Scully turned back at his words. Drawn to see the "proof" he referred to. Oh shit. There was proof. Big proof. She could see the bulge of his erection through his suit pants through the gap in his coat that he had purposefully created to show her. To tempt her despite himself and herself.

The worst thing was, Scully thought, was that she couldn't stop looking at it. No wait, worse was that she couldn't stop the fact that she was practically panting with need and that he was watching her watch him. 'Oh my God,' she thought as she tried to swallow the extra saliva in her mouth.

Skinner knew he was playing with fire the moment he invited Scully into his car. He had spent the ride over telling himself he had to end this. That it, in fact, hadn't even started. All the while, the memory of Scully's naked body in the shower, the taste of Scully's naked body, and Scully's moans of pleasure drowned out the radio he had angrily turned up. Damn it! He wasn't a teenage boy anymore!

"Sir, Walter, I have to admit to having the same conflict." 'There I said it!' Scully began to take calming breaths.

"What we need to do, Agent Scully." Skinner pointedly returned to their professional titles to put distance back between them. "Is to let some time pass."

"I think you're right. Perhaps it's best I take a vacation. People won't wonder if I felt the need to get away after this last case." Scully sighed. "Of course, my admitting it might be a little suspicious," she remarked humorously.

Skinner let out a chuckle and suddenly the tension in the car disappeared. "I'm not a man given to fantasy and wishes, but Dana Katherine Scully, sometimes I wish I wasn't your supervisor," he said with a bittersweet smile. "Are we agreed on the vacation time? I promise you that once you get back all this can be put behind us."

"Yes, how about two weeks?" Scully had seen the tenderness in Skinner's eyes and felt sorry that she was the cause of his pain. Going away might be the best thing. While she desired him and thought he was a good man, she was certain that she didn't feel as deeply for him as she felt for Mulder. She paled at her last thought. 'Mulder, oh God. Am I in love with Mulder? Is that what this was all about? Or am I trying to convince myself I am to stay away from Skinner?' She was more confused now than she had been just a few short days ago.

"Are you okay Scully?" Skinner had seen her pale.

"Yes. I was just trying to figure out what people did on vacation and realized I couldn't remember," she said brightly to cover her inner turmoil.

"Any idea where you might go?"

"I thought San Diego might be a nice idea, and not just for the weather. I can see my sister in law while I'm there and spend some time visiting some of the places we used to go when we were kids. I still have some friends there as well."

"I'm sorry about this, Scully, more than you know. I never meant to drag you into this," said cryptically.

Scully reached over and grabbed his hand. "I know. This isn't your fault. And we will get past this. When I come back we will have ourselves both sufficiently under control..." Scully suddenly realized there was one wrench in their plans. "Mulder knows. He called while you were in the shower, he heard you. He's really, really pissed off at us. I was going to go find him when you summoned me to your office."

Skinner squeezed her hand. "I'll take care of Agent Mulder. He won't say a word."

"No, I need to speak with him," Scully argued.

"Of course, if you think it's best," Skinner looked away. He had wondered all weekend what had happened between his two agents that he had found himself in Scully's bed. He had always suspected that they were in love with each other, although he was certain they hadn't admitted it to each other and maybe even themselves. It was yet another reason in addition to the damn Bureau rules and possible danger that had made him determined to put their night behind him. Scully would never love him. She might stay with him for a while, but in the end she would leave. Even if she never brought herself to go to Mulder, he would always be between them.

"I'll tell him that I'm going on vacation to put this behind all of us. Maybe he'll cool down during that time." Scully didn't think that was likely of her obsessive partner, but there was hardly anything else she could do.

"When are you planning to leave?"

"As soon as possible. I have enough frequent flyer miles I don't have to worry about booking a last minute flight," Scully laughed.

Skinner was relieved. Despite his resolve he wasn't far from pulling her to him right there in the car. "Maybe Mulder will take some time off as well."

"And leave the X Files alone? Don't count on it." Scully shook her head.

"I can order him to take off. I won't let him go off on a case without you. He gets in too much trouble that way."

"You can order him to take off, but he'll run off and follow up on a lead anyway," Scully pointed out.

'Or he'll run off and chase you down,’ Skinner thought to himself. "I'll let him decide for himself then," Skinner shrugged. He wished he could just suspend the agent for taking Melissa Ephesian for hypnosis, but he didn't want to have to face the accusing stares and anger he was sure the agent would direct at him, even if he wouldn't admit why. Suspension just wasn't a viable option, especially since it had been plausible that they could have discovered something from one of her alleged multiple personalities. What Mulder hoped to discover by having himself put under he hadn't been able to figure out and no justification had been forthcoming from either agent. Skinner had a strong feeling that whatever Mulder had revealed was what had sent Scully reeling into his arms. It didn't matter anymore and he wasn't going to torture himself by wondering.

"I guess you should take me back to my car, Sir," Scully said, her hands clenched in her lap.

"Yes, have a good vacation, Agent Scully," Skinner said in a professional tone as he put the key back in the ignition.

Scully was suddenly sad that she would never have the chance to make love to this man again. Sad that he was obviously hurt by this situation, a situation that she may have created in order to lash out at her wayward partner. Before he could stop her, Scully invaded Skinner's personal space. "It was lovely," she said against his lips before moving forward and giving him one last kiss.

Skinner thrust his tongue in her mouth, uncertain whether this was her intent, but too caught off guard to stop himself. Scully's probing tongue entered his mouth a second later and Skinner brought his hands behind her head as the kiss deepened.

Scully had only intended to give him a chaste kiss goodbye, but the touch of his tongue had thrown all her restraint out of her head. She began to climb onto his side of the car in order to ease the pain that stretching across the car was causing and to be better able to kiss him.

Skinner reached over and helped her settle onto his lap. Her knees were straddling his right leg and his arms were around her waist. Scully reached out and put her hands over his shoulders in order to maintain her balance. Skinner helped her out by pulling her flush against his body as he moved his lips from hers and began to kiss her neck.

Scully closed her eyes and moaned as her nipples hardened and she felt an answering moistness between her legs. 'One more time,' she thought fleetingly as he began to nibble on her ear. She pulled away and began to kiss him again. His hands moved underneath her coat and settled themselves on her ass. Scully bent her hips and settled herself down on his leg, her skirt riding all the way up her thighs. She felt the steering wheel at her back, but more urgently she felt him against her knee. Hot, needy, and ready.

Skinner moaned into her mouth as he felt her knee press against his erection. The Marine and the Assistant Director in the back of his mind were yelling at him to let her go, but his heart and his hard on were telling to take this one last chance. And it certainly would be the last time, of that he was sure. 

He entwined his fingers in her silky, flame colored hair as he ravaged her lips. He felt Scully's hands move from behind his neck to move down his chest. 'What a great idea,' his left hand thought as it disentangled itself from her hair and began its own descent.

His hand moved aside her suit jacket and settled itself on Scully's breast. Through her bra and thin lycra T shirt he felt her hard nipple in his palm. He began to slowly caress her.

He could hear their ragged breaths as Scully began to shake herself out of her coat. When it was off her arms and lay forlornly draped over the steering wheel she began to shrug out of her suit coat. That done she spread her legs and settled herself over his hips.

Skinner moved his hand from her breast and pulled her shirt out of her skirt. He pulled it over her head and then began to undo the front clasp of her bra. Once her breasts were bared he took a breast into his mouth.

Scully bucked forward as she felt his teeth and tongue touch her sensitive nipple. 'Oh God, what am I doing?' she thought even as her hand moved down to caress him through his pants. They were so close together that caressing him resulting in her caressing herself at the same time. Driven mad she had to feel him and she struggled to unzip his pants. 

Feeling her intentions, Skinner thrust himself forward in order to assist her in getting his zipper down. It also pressed him harder into her hand.

Scully quickly undid his zipper and his button and pushed the material aside. She was annoyed to feel his underwear beneath her fingers and began to scramble around trying to figure out how to get it out of their way.

Skinner felt her frantic motions and removed his mouth from her breasts."Scully," he whispered raggedly.

"Help me," she said just as raggedly. Skinner moaned.

"Scully," he tried again. Her movements stopped and he felt her breath hitch in her throat. God help him. He didn't want to stop. He needed to feel her one last time. Instead of telling her they had to stop as he originally planned, "lay down," he ordered and he began to move her to lay down on the bench seat of the Crown Victoria.

Scully felt relief pool in her stomach. He hadn't told them to stop. If he had, she would have complied. Now, she just had to go along with it and not have to think. Oh, boy, did she want to. She complied and her body tingled as she felt the plush seat rub against her back. 'We're in a car, I can't believe this,' she thought, amused. They really were like a couple of kids.

She watched attentively as Skinner shrugged out of his coat and tossed it, along with hers to the back seat. He then moved forward to loom over her.

They stared into each other's eyes, both asking if this was the right thing to do. Without answering Scully reached up and began to undo his tie and the buttons of his shirt. He closed his eyes in relief. Once she was done he helped her by removing the items from his body and tossing them to the back seat. Then she began to skim her hands up his body to push off his undershirt. When he nails scraped against his nipples he moaned. He opened his eyes to see Scully's Mona Lisa smile.

He pulled the undershirt off and tossed it on the pile. Before she began on his pants he reached down and undid the clasp of her skirt. She lifted her hips as he began to pull it down along with the pantyhose and her silk bikinis down her legs. He bundled them up and tossed them away as well.

'God she's beautiful,' he thought for the thousandth time as he took in her flushed naked body lying erotically against the gray velour of his front seat. The graphite color matched the stormy color of her eyes. 'God, he would always think of her this way in his car. And in the shower. And in bed. And on the rug...'

Skinner leaned down and put his head between her legs. He heard her breathing speed up as he began to lick her clitoris. 'God, she was so wet and sweet.' He tongue darted inside her and receded, again and again.

Then he began to suck her swollen clitoris. Then he stuck his tongue back inside her and felt her contract against his tongue so he began to stroke her slowly and deeply, imitating what he intended to do with his body later. All the while he had to suck the juices that threatened to run down his chin.

Scully reached her hands out and grabbed the door handle in a desperate attempt to keep herself grounded. Her hips were arching and writhing under his ministrations. She could feel herself tumble uncontrollably towards ecstasy. She felt his fingers begin to thrust inside her as his lips and tongue returned to her clitoris. "Oh my God," she kept repeating as she felt herself jerk involuntarily.

"Please. I want you inside me," she moaned. 'This one last time,' she thought as she felt a tear slide down her face. She wanted the first orgasm to be with him inside her sharing it.

She took deep gulping breaths as her moved away from her. She opened her eyes and sat up and began to push his pants, and underwear, down his legs. She abandoned her efforts as his erection sprang forth. She couldn't help herself, she needed to touch it.

They moaned in unison as she felt his silky hardness slide under her palm. She watched mesmerized as drops of pre cum sprang forth and she flicked her tongue out to take a taste.

Before Skinner had time to react she had taken his head into her mouth and she was worshiping him. His pants and underwear lay forgotten at his knees. He closed his eyes as he felt her take his scrotum into her mouth and begin to suck. Then her tongue was back licking and caressing his erection.

Scully liked and sucked him as if she would never be able to do this again. Indeed she wouldn't. It was so damn unfair. Skinner put his hand on her cheek.

She stopped and looked up at him. "Please," he asked gently.

She gave his penis a few more licks before stopping. But God help her she couldn't stop touching it with her hands. She felt it jerk and pulse in her hands. The Skinner's hands were on her shoulders pushing her away.

She lay down on the seat and watched as he pushed his clothes down his legs and left them tangled at his ankles. He had pulled a condom out of his wallet and put it on his large cock. Scully breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't waste time but simply spread her legs and lay down on top of her. His tip nudged at her opening as he began to kiss her. Their essences blended in their mouths, as did their moans. Scully wrapped her legs around his hips and began to push herself up at him.

Without removing his mouth Skinner gave into her plaintive motions and thrust himself inside her. Her tight, hot center grabbed at him and pulled him deeper inside. His body wanted to let go and fly right then, but it was their last time and it was going to last as long as humanly possible. With the strength of will borne of that knowledge he stopped rocking his hips into hers and pushed her hips flat against the seat and took over.

He began to kiss her neck as his hands held her hips prisoner against the seat. He pulled out and began to slowly push back into her. He felt her muscles try to hold him as he again pulled, slowly out. He repeated this action more times than either of them could count.

Scully thought she was going to die. He was making slow, sweet love to her. She felt herself floating and the only thing holding her to Earth was the feeling of Skinner sliding slowly in and out of her. He hadn't done this before. There was so much more they could do to each other, she thought with despair.

Skinner continued his slow torture. Every time he was fully sheathed inside Scully's hips undulated and her muscles clenched against him. Now, he was biting his lip, hard, to stop himself from losing control. It was a losing battle he realized as he felt himself move faster with every thrust. Before he realized it he felt Scully orgasm around him. He stayed inside her and prolonged the experience. Then he felt himself coming apart and joining her.

The agents lay breathlessly in each other's arms. The sweat on their body being dried by the car heater. Neither of them knew what to say.

Skinner sat up and helped Scully sit up as well. He reached back and pulled as much of the clothes as he could reach to the front seat. He let Scully get dressed in peace as he pulled up his pants and looked for his shirts.

Ten minutes later the agents were sitting, a bit rumpled but fully dressed, with their coats in their laps.

"I'm sorry," Scully said.

"For what?"

"I started it, I never meant." she trailed off.

"It won't happen again, Agent Scully," Skinner said tersely.

Scully wasn't offended by his anger. She knew it was as much directed at himself as it was her. It was goodbye for them, for this facet of their relationship. By the time she returned from vacation they would have themselves back under control and would pretend it had never happened in the first place. She guessed this last time didn't really hurt anyone.

"I'll take you back to your car," Skinner said as he engaged the engine and got back on the road.

~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Need to tell you_  
Trying to get through  
It's not easy  
Left of the middle  
“Left of Middle” by Natalie Imbruglia  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
[2630 Hegel Place  
Alexandria, Virginia  
Apartment 42]

Mulder finally got back to his apartment. His feet, ear and fingers were numb and he could barely open the apartment door lock. He closed the door behind him and picked up his cordless phone and pressed speed dial number two Scully's cell phone number. His own cell phone number was number one for when he misplaced it.

After a few rings her voice mail picked up. Either she was on the phone or it was turned off. "Damn!" He didn't bother leaving a message. He hadn't considered that she might not want to talk to him. He had been so caught up in working through his own feelings he had forgotten just how cruel and nasty he had been to her that morning.

He rushed to the bathroom to grab a quick shower before heading out to find her.

~~~~~~~~~  
[Bodie's Diner Parking Lot]

Scully sat in her car and watched as Skinner drove away. The last few minutes had eerily reminded her of a time in West Virginia when she and Mulder had come to Skinner for help. When her sister was dying. Scully couldn't help but laugh as she imagined her sister congratulating her for "going with the flow" as she had always counseled.

But it really wasn't the same. Mulder wasn't there with her, and the only thing she was running from was herself.

She picked her phone up from the passenger seat and turned it back on and pressed speed dial one. She listened as the recording told her that the customer wasn't available. Either he had turned it off or just wasn't answering when he saw her number appear on the caller I.D. Still, she wished he would set up his voice mail. She sighed and pressed the button to get his home phone.

She listened while Mulder's voice told her that he wasn't picking up and waiting for the beep.

"Mulder, it's me. I don't know where you are, but I need to see you. Call me." She hung up and started the car and began the drive home to Maryland.

~~~~~~~~~~  
[Apartment 42]

Mulder walked out of his bathroom and down the hall clad only in a white towel. He picked up his cell phone when he noticed his answering machine light blinking.

'Finally,' he thought. He had been surprised to come home and find that Scully hadn't called him twenty times the moment he left the Hoover building. He pressed the button and let out a smile when he heard her voice.

He quickly pressed his speed dial to call Scully's cell. 'Busy!' he looked at the phone as if it was from another planet. He disconnected and this time he manually dialed her number. It was still busy. He sighed and dialed her home number. He got her answering machine.

"Scully, it's me. I tried your cell, but it must be broken because all I got was a busy signal. Anyway, I got your message. I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was, I was out of line." Mulder wasn't sure how to explain why he was so furious. "Anyway, call me."

He disconnected the phone and took it with him to his underused bedroom to get dressed.

~~~~~~~~~~

Scully disconnected her cell phone and tossed it on the seat. She had just made reservations on a flight to San Diego at 11 that night. That gave her plenty of time to find Mulder, pack and get to the airport.

~~~~~~~~~

Mulder left his apartment and ran down to his car. He had called her desk at the Bureau and the X Files office and she hadn't answered. He hadn't wanted to, but he called Skinner's office to see if she had left word that she was leaving. Kimberly had informed him that Scully had met with Skinner earlier that morning and then had left. Scully hadn't mentioned taking the rest of the day off to her and Skinner was currently out of the building himself.

Mulder took deep calming breaths. There was no reason to believe that they had snuck off together, but Mulder was sure they had. Just as sure as he had been of anything. 'They're probably just telling each other that it was an all an aberration that wouldn't be repeated but were afraid to do it in his office.'

He started his car and headed for Scully's apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Scully really leave town with everything unresolved?

~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Crouching down inside a deep ravine_  
 _Those angry cries pass quickly by can't be seen_  
 _So many ways spent hiding in so many undone plans_  
 _Forgetting what it's like to fight when no one understands_  
“Out of the Shadows” by Sarah McLachlan  
~~~~~~~~~~

"Dammit!" Mulder threw his cell phone onto the passenger seat. He was stuck in a traffic jam on the way to her apartment and, no big surprise, all the mobile towers were busy digital and analogue.

Mulder wondered idly if he would go insane being deprived from his sole form of communication as Scully had once predicted.

It truly never failed. Whenever he was in a rush to get somewhere, he got stuck in District traffic. Whenever he needed to call someone, he couldn't get through. It had never bothered him as much as it did right then. For a reason he couldn't quite explain he felt he had to see Scully now before something happened. He didn't think it was just his usual paranoia. Mulder closed his eyes and took a deep, gulping breath. Everything felt so damn out of control and for once he wasn't thriving on it. Instead, he felt he was on the verge of losing something, or someone, very important.

'Maybe I already lost her,' he thought as he replayed Skinner's voice over the phone in her motel room in Apison.

And the longer it took him to get to her, the larger the chance she was back in Skinner's arms. Doing everything he had always imagined she would do with himself, in his most secret fantasies. Doing everything he had been desperately denying he wanted for so long.

'Even going so far as to call another woman his soulmate right in front of her? Was that what that was about? My denial of my feelings for Scully?'

"You are a damn fool Fox Mulder," he admitted.

~~~~~~~~~~

Scully hung up her phone in frustration. She kept getting the cellular phone service recording telling her that all their "lines" were busy. She glanced at her watch. She only had a few hours to pack and get to the airport. She had hoped to briefly communicate her imminent vacation to her partner before leaving. And she knew that no matter how much she didn't want to deal with him, to do anything less would only create more problems.

Her Caller ID indicated that he had tried to call her at home earlier. When she had been in the car with Skinner. The memory of exactly what she had been doing when Mulder had called left her flush and breathless. 'This isn't good,' she thought uncomfortably as she began to take off her rumpled clothes.

'It can't happen again!' she reminded herself as she began to run the bath water.

'It was the last time!' she told herself as she watched the foam begin to form thick bubbles and she tried not to remember the bubble bath she had taken back in Apison.

'I don't want it to happen again!' she insisted as she sunk down into the hot water and bubbles and denied to herself that it reminded her of Skinner's tongue laving her body, most especially at her most intimate places.

"And I don't want it to be Mulder!" she told the candlelight dancing off the tile as her hand mimicked the fantasies she denied she had.

She reminded herself again that she had to put the aberrations of the past week behind her as she packed her suitcase and garment bag.

~~~~~~~

Once her bags were placed by her door she tried Mulder's number again. Before she could hang up she heard a knock at her door. She went through the motions of checking the peephole, as if she couldn't tell who it was from the musical knocking. Mulder.

Scully opened the door and let her partner in without a word. She saw him glance in askance at her luggage before turning to her with injured eyes.

"Where are you going Scully?" he asked quietly, fearfully.

"Away. I need to get away," she answered. She would have preferred this conversation over a phone. It was so hard to tell him when he was looking at her so intently.

" Is Skinner going with you?" Mulder asked angrily.

"I’m going alone. This is about me. Not Skinner. Not You. Me. I need a vacation.”

"Do you need to leave right now?" he asked as he took a step closer.

Scully forced herself not to back away from him. "Not right this minute, my flight leaves in two hours," she admitted.

Mulder continued his advance.

Scully found herself unable to look him in the eyes and dropped her gaze towards the floor. 'Please don't ask me to explain,' she prayed.

"Why?" he asked.

Scully closed her eyes for a moment and let out a shaky breath. She guessed she didn't deserve to have her prayers answered on this subject. "Why what? " she stalled.

"Why Skinner? Why now?" 

Scully shook her head and opened her eyes. She dragged her gaze up Mulder's body until she was looking him in the eyes. "I don't know," she whispered. "That's why I need to go away. It's never going to happen again and we all need to put it behind us."

Mulder didn't respond for a few minutes. Despite his blank expression, Scully could see his eyes change as he tried to figure out how to respond. “I don't know if I can put it behind us, Scully."

"Why?”

Mulder was visibly taken aback at the question.

Emboldened, Scully moved forward with the line of inquiry. "Why can't you put it behind you? How does this affect you?" she repeated.

"He's our boss Scully, this could interfere with my work," Mulder said in a calm voice.

"It won't. Skinner isn't like that Mulder. You know he's too stubborn and proud to allow his personal feelings to be used like that," Scully refuted.

"Feelings!" Mulder latched onto the word. "So there are feelings. How can he be trusted to not let his _feelings_ interfere? Look how well he controlled them so far?" Mulder sneered.

Scully felt her back stiffen at his attack. "We all control our feelings Mulder."

"Do we?" he took another step closer. "You don't seem to be in control right now."

"Funny that you could tell considering that you never control yours," Scully threw out recklessly, trying to stop his advance.

"What does that mean?" Mulder paused a foot away from her.

"Your soulmate, remember? Seems like your _feelings_ interfered with 'your' work, so maybe you're projecting. But I can assure you that this will have no impact on _our_ work," Scully clarified.

"Were you jealous Scully? Is that why you did it?" Mulder continued his advance.

It was then that Scully saw that Mulder was profiling her. He had the rabid look in his eye that he had when he was hunting. Tonight he was hunting her. She had better be careful. She couldn't underestimate his talent.

"Don't be silly." Scully lifted her chin in defiance, refusing to be cowed even as his thighs brushed against her.

"Am I being silly, Dana?" Mulder bent down and said into her ear.

It took all her willpower, but she neither shivered as his breath caressed her ear nor moved back from his encroachment into her physical space. "Don't be so arrogant, Fox."

"I like it when you say it," Mulder told her. "Did you call him Walter?"

"Is this supposed to be sexy or intimidating?" she asked. Then she felt his answer. Hot, hard and pulsing against her. No amount of self control could control her body's instinctual response and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her as she felt her pelvis push closer to his. His arm reached around her back.

"Are you jealous Mulder? Do you need to have what he has? Am I some prize in a competition?" she asked angrily.

At her words, Mulder let her go and backed away from her. He turned away and ran his hands through his hair.

Scully refused to be moved by his apparent distress and guilt. She was finally so tired of comforting him, even when it was herself that he hurt.

"Can I take you to the airport?" Mulder asked contritely.

Scully looked at him, preparing to tell him no, when she noticed the fear in his eyes. He didn't understand why she had done what she did, but he was afraid she would leave him permanently even as he had almost pushed her to that point a few seconds ago. Scully didn't want to punish him, she just wanted to go away for a while and be alone.

Despite her doubts she nodded her consent.

~~~~~~~  
 _this old world well_  
 _don't it make you want to think damn_  
 _this cold girl well_  
 _don't she make you want to scream damn_  
“Damn” by Matchbox Twenty  
~~~~~~~

Scully looked out the window of Mulder's car as they drove to the airport. Neither of them had said a word since they left her apartment. And that conversation had been stilted and uncomfortable in the wake of the ignored argument. It had never been like this. Never this uncomfortable. Never this untrusting. Not even when she had first been assigned to work with him and he had been justifiably suspicious of her motives.

Fear had been her constant companion for so many years. Fear of her belief system being decimated by the work. Fear for their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Fear of her own conflicted feelings. All of those fears were at play now and now there was a new fear.

'What if we really can't get past this? What if we can't work together anymore?' she thought hopelessly.

They had conflicts over the years. Even times when they were cold and distant. Never had it been uncomfortable. Never had she believed it was the end of their partnership or their quest. She had always had faith in their professionalism, and even in their unspoken connection to each other. Tonight, in this car, she didn't feel that connection. She hadn't felt it, in fact, since he had found that bunker near Ephesian's compound.

The distance between them seemed unbridgeable.

Despair was quickly following on the heels of her fear. This was her quest, too. There were answers she needed for herself and her family. And for Mulder. Answers she didn't think they could find without each other. She couldn't walk away from this, but neither could they accomplish anything if their relationship couldn't be repaired.

And she had no idea how to repair it.

~~~~~~  
 _we never thought we'd get so troubled_  
 _we could never think that much_  
 _it should never get this bad_  
“Shame” by Matchbox Twenty  
~~~~~~

Mulder followed her silently to the departure gate. Other than to ask her what airline she was leaving on, they hadn't spoken since leaving her apartment. Scully had been surprised when Mulder had parked the car and insisted on accompanying her inside. She wasn't sure what he intended. Was he planning on just standing there and watching her leave?

"You don't need to wait," Scully told him.

"Yes I do," Mulder told her, finally looking her in the eyes.

"Why?"

"I just do."

Scully nodded and sat down to wait. The flight was scheduled to be called in about fifteen minutes. She almost couldn't wait to get away from this tense quiet, despite the fact that she feared once she did, she might lose her chance to at least being to repair their working relationship.

"What will you do while I'm away?" she asked him.

"I have tons of paperwork to finish," he smiled tentatively at her.

"That's true. Will you take on cases?" she wanted to know if he planned on putting himself in danger while she wasn't around. It would be so much easier to ditch her. Or slip into a depression over his "soulmate" and her own "betrayal"?

Or start a fist fight with Skinner. That was a distinct possibility, she had to admit.

"If something comes up I won't let it pass by," he admitted.

"Promise me you'll be careful," she whispered, feeling guilty for not being around to watch his back. "You might consider a vacation yourself."

"And let them get rid of the Files in my, our absence, no way," he said adamantly.

It was the response she had expected. He hadn't taken a voluntary vacation since she had known him. Neither had she for that matter. Unlike him, she felt she was overdue.

"Are you planning on confronting Skinner?" she finally asked.

"Why are you worried I might hurt your lover?" he sneered.

"No, I'm worried about our careers," Scully said calmly.

"Oh, now you're worried about your career. A bit late don't you think?" he chuckled bitterly.

Scully's mouth tightened and she didn't respond. She would have preferred the silent send off option to this.

Mulder sighed next to her.

"Can we get past this?" she asked him.

"We have to. We have work to do," he said quietly. "Are you coming back?"

Scully placed her hand over his. "Yes, I'm coming back. I promise. I just need some time."

Mulder looked up at her, a sad smile on his face. "Can I just ask you one thing?"

Scully nodded.

"Do you love him?"

Scully pulled her hand away. "I don't think so. I didn't before...," she trailed off. 'Why can't I just say no?' she yelled at herself.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," Mulder mumbled and wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm not crying," she straightened her posture. "I'm fine."

Mulder chuckled at her use of her usual phraseology. Things suddenly seemed normal again. Normal for them. Despite the addition of another third party’s spirit in their midst.

"What's so funny?" Scully moved her head away from his hand.

"Nothing, everything." Mulder shrugged, suddenly relieved. It was rare that Mulder got to see the cracks in the Scully facade. It was scary and comforting at the same time. Mulder would have to be blind not to see how much he relied on Scully's strength, but seeing her as a fallible human decreased his fear that she could just turn and walk away. Away from their four years of partnership and friendship.

"It's going to be all right," Mulder leaned down to tell her.

He wanted to believe.

~~~~~~~~~

A solitary man stood across the arcade watching the two agents travel from one emotion to another. They had started out distant and emotionless. Now, mere minutes later they were exhibiting humor, stubbornness and defensiveness.

What struck the man most was that they were sitting in a crowded airport at a crowded departure gate and they acted as if there was no one else around. Mulder, as always, leaned down so they could speak without being overheard. They were obviously conscious of being in public, the air of privacy remained, but neither saw anyone but the other.

No one else was real.

No one else was noticed.

Not even him.

The man slipped his hands into the pockets of his black trench coat and turned and walked away, the overhead lights glinting on his bald pate.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Goodbye, Mulder," Scully said uncomfortably. He had never seen her off at the airport before. They usually got on the plane together. She wasn't sure what she should do. Shake his hand? Hug him? Wave?

"See ya later, Scully." Mulder smiled unevenly at her.

Scully nodded and tightened her grasp on her carry on bag. She looked up at her partner again, planning to turn around and head for the jetway.

"Scully, wait," Mulder said loud enough for her to hear.

Scully stopped and looked at him expectantly.

Mulder moved forward and palmed her cheeks. "If you need me, call me. Anytime."

Tears filled Scully's eyes as she nodded. Mulder leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

"Come back," he whispered before turning and walking away.

Scully watched as he disappeared into the crowd before turning and boarding the plane.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mulder walked out of the terminal and paused to look up at the sky. He had always thought everything he believed in and needed was up there. Tonight, there seemed to be something missing.

After a few minutes of blocking airport patrons he gathered the lapels of his coat together, blew out a frosty breath and walked back to his car in the falling snow. Not looking back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. This story was written a long time ago and I just planned to brush it up a bit while posting it here from its previous home. As I went through it I realized that I was not happy with some of the story and it took a while for me to figure out what and how I wanted to change. For those have left kudos - thanks so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _And I got a straight road_  
 _But I'm passing the same signs_  
 _Over and over_  
 _And my world falls down_  
 _And I'm there calling out_  
 _But it's something I can't say_  
 _Though it seems the only way_  
 _But it's a game I can't play. Not today!_  
“Left of Middle” by Natalie Imbruglia  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully dropped her head against the airplane seat as she watched the District fell away before her eyes. Unfortunately, her inner turmoil wasn't left behind. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples against the threatening headache. It had been so hard to keep herself together in the face of Mulder’s accusations. The problem was that he was right, about everything. 

This damn case hit her on every emotional level she’d tried so hard to avoid for so long. She felt so ashamed and dirty for what she had done. In the moment it felt like she was finally living, but seeing it from this vantage point she saw nothing but weakness. 

Her father would be so disappointed in her. Just as Mulder was. Scully’s breath hitched at the thought of her partner. The truth she had tried so hard to hide from for so long wouldn’t be pushed back. The dam had started breaking before Apison, but watching Mulder turning his single-minded focus on that sick woman as the cause and cure of his loneliness had been too much inflow leading to complete structural failure. 

The truth was that she wanted to be who Mulder turned that focus on. No, not just his focus, she admitted, but his heart. She wanted to be more than an intrepid sidekick or consolation prize on their precarious journey. She wanted them to find more than solace, but true joy amidst the pain and danger. That was her dream. One that was broken with Mulder’s vision of her role in his past lives. Father. Commanding officer. Friend. Fleeting presence. 

Logically she knew better than to give credence to stories weaved under hypnosis. They were nothing more than creative storytelling in a single moment. They didn’t mean much more than an expression of grief that Mulder didn’t know how to express any other way. Still, they felt like a stake through the heart. A destruction of her secret dream of the two of them. A dream forbidden by the rules and the dangerous lives they led, but still held dear.

And just this once she let herself fall apart, too. Couldn’t stop it really. 

And Skinner? Pain relief. Revenge. 

God, she’d had revenge sex with her boss. 

More than once. 

An attractive, sexy man for sure and, yes, he made her feel alive, safe even, but so wrong. Wrong reasons. Wrong man. Wrong time. Wrong place. She was so embarrassed. She was never going to let it happen again. Would have to brazen it out and hope it didn’t derail her career. She couldn’t help but worry, though. What if got too awkward and he transferred her from the X-Files? What if he did approach her again and she turned him down, would he blackball her?

No, Scully scolded herself. Walter Skinner was an honorable man. The consequences wouldn’t be so deliberate, but what if it impacted a decision to support them on a case? A visit from cancer man? A knowing smirk when someone made a comment about her looks that undermined her credibility? Mulder was right to worry. To berate her for her shortsightedness. 

At the thought of her partner her fists clenched, in fear and in anger. Fear of losing him. The fear that without him she would never get the answers she needed about herself and about her sister’s murder. For Mulder. There was no one with a longer memory, no pun intended with recent past life forays. Scully grimaced at her racing thoughts. There was no way this wasn’t going to come up again. There had been rumors about another partner a long time ago, an involvement, someone that he never mentioned. What if that became her? The old partner that he erased from his history-littered life?

Scully’s stomach jumped as she flashed back to the airport. The strange kiss on the forehead. The odd, yet familiar look in his hazel eyes. The hands on her face. Mulder rarely allowed or initiated touch. For comfort or defense. Not with her. 

Exhausted, physically and emotionally, Scully fell into an exhausted doze.

~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _Another second of my life_  
 _Not knowing if it's true_  
 _Make believe in nothing_  
 _Is all I want of you_  
 _Whisper me the secret_  
 _Whisper me there is_  
 _Always something other_  
 _Something more than this._  
“More Than This” by the Cure  
~~~~~~~~~~~

It all made sense now. Skinner dropped the report he had been handed to him when he returned to the office from the airport. He had planned to spend a long evening there and sleep on his couch. He hadn’t wanted to go home. Until he read this report. Three times, in fact, before taking it home and reading it again. His vision was blurred when he finally dropped the report on his coffee table. He leaned back on the too-stiff couch and dropped his head back. His eyes were closed as she rubbed them. 

What he read in the report and what he saw at the airport disturbed him. Professionally, as well as personally. 

What the hell was Mulder doing getting himself hypnotized in the middle of a case? Skinner snorted at his own question. From his point of view his agent never passed up an opportunity to make it all about his quest for some indefinable truth. Mulder might be pretty damn effective – even when you didn’t believe the paranormal theories that he spouted more often than was prudent – but he was also a borderline narcissist. Not that Skinner had the psychology degrees that Mulder did, but he was pretty confident in his diagnosis. 

Reading about the contents of the hypnosis that was written up by Scully, the ever responsible one, was disturbing. Even the dry recounting of the Ephesian woman and Mulder’s sessions resonated with pain. He knew that something had to have happened to pry Scully from Mulder’s side and into his arms, but reading this made him feel predatory. Dirty. Like he had taken advantage of her. 

Sure, she had been upset, but he always respected her will of iron. Visions of her breaking apart underneath him overlaid with the touching scene between the partners at the airport painted a different story. She was in love with him. They were in love with each other. There were no more questions about in Skinner’s mind. 

That didn’t mean that they would ever be together. That Mulder would ever get his head out of his ass. 

And Scully would need comfort. Maybe his comfort? His body began to hum with memory and desire. He stood up and stalked towards the window. His blinds were mostly closed as they always were in his justifiable concern that he was being watched. He slid his fingers and looked out into the night. 

Was he being selfish or a knight in shining armor?

He wasn’t seeing the few people walking down his residential street. Neighbors returning from late nights at the office and dinners out. He was seeing himself arriving in San Diego to take a willing Dana Scully into his arms. Her arms slipping around his neck, he lips parted and welcoming. Her body melting against his. He was being wrapped in her scent and warmth. 

The want that swept through his body startled him from his fantasy. His eyes focused and that’s when he realized he had been looking at a car parked across the street. One he’d seen before. A dark sedan that wasn’t even trying to blend in with its surroundings. Without hesitation he grabbed his gun and headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~  
 _But who grants absolution  
For sins that   
Never were committed  
Tension makes a tangle   
Of each thought   
Becomes inconvenience  
Sound never penetrates   
As servile edges   
Break and   
Feint  
Thought mistaken   
For a memory_  
“Tension Makes a Tangle” by 10,000 Maniacs  
~~~~~~~~  
[Sea Lodge Hotel  
La Jolla Shores, CA  
Room 223]

Scully dropped her luggage with relish and dragged herself to the room's king size bed. She couldn't remember ever being so weary, so weary she didn't even feel compelled to drool over the great ocean view her hosts boasted about at check in.

Not even sleepless nights filled with autopsies and chasing after her wayward partner made her this tired.

Her partner.

Scully rolled over on the bed with a heavy sigh. For the past eight hours she had been struggling to put him and a certain other co worker out of her mind. Both a useless and tiring endeavor.

For years she had worked at putting her initial attraction to Mulder away. From time to time it popped back up, although her abduction had, in a weird way, helped worrying about school girl crushes didn't seem important anymore. The cases over the past couple of years caused them both such turmoil they needed to keep a careful emotional distance from each other. Sometimes, though, it hadn't been enough and there were events that drew them closer together than she could have ever thought possible.

New Mexico and the events surrounding their trip there popped into her mind at the thought. Scully remembered how worried she had been about her partner's erratic behavior and how frightened she had been for him. For both of them. Ultimately, it had been her fear that had frozen her in place and doomed Mulder to what she thought at the time was his death.

Scully's heart skipped a beat remembering her despair when she believed him to be dead. Until that dream, she reminded herself, a dream she still couldn't reconcile with her belief system. Yet, after that dream she had somehow been sure that he would be back.

When he had walked through his apartment door she had literally felt a wave of something sweep over her that almost knocked her down. He was vibrantly alive and had just walked in stood by her side no questions asked. It had been earth shattering.

In the elevator a few minutes later she had been shocked to have had to physically fight a desire to throw him against the elevator wall, press the stop button, and throw herself into his arms. At the time she had chalked it up to relief and the events of the next days had rendered it moot. Until the diner in West Virginia.

At the diner Mulder had turned cold and angry. Much of his anger was the necessity of giving up the MJ Files to save their lives. But it was more than that, it was also anger at her. Anger for being the final arbiter of the decision and, she suspected, that she could bargain to see her sister while he hadn’t been able to.

Melissa. Scully couldn't deny she had a large part in her current turmoil.

After her sister's death Mulder had held her in his arms and had stayed by her side, even attending the funeral that her own brother Bill couldn't make. But soon after, in her usual fashion, she had pulled away from him. Somehow, though, their relationship seemed to find its own pace after a few months and they seemed even closer than ever. Even to the point where it seemed they were flirting with each other.

Then came a series of cases which tore Mulder from the inside out and far from her.

And then Skinner had been shot trying to track down her sister's killer.

Seeing him heading for surgery that crazy day had dredged up feelings that she didn't know she had. Feelings involving Skinner. Her boss. She was sure that part of those feelings was owing to the risks he had taken on her behalf and in the furtherance of justice. Hero worship, gratitude, maybe. The rest she just couldn't pinpoint, and hadn't wanted to. Feelings she could barely even acknowledge.

She could admit that from time to time she entertained a passing thought about his attractiveness. She was certainly drawn to him as an authority figure, much like Jack Willis and other men patterned after her own father. With Skinner, thought, sometimes she had found herself drawn toy his innate strength, as well as the aura of distance he kept around him. Qualities she strove for in herself.

When she had found out he had spent the night with a hooker and was married, she had been shocked. The knowledge had scattered her thoughts and had made him all too human. Attainable. So she had carefully pushed all thoughts of him as a man away.

Until that night in her motel room in Tennessee.

When they had made love she had lingered over his scar and had to make an effort not imagine that other woman touching him as she did. She had worked hard to dispel that woman's touch from Skinner's mind.

Here she was in San Diego, over two thousand miles away from home, lying fully clothed in a dark hotel room feeling Skinner's touch on her body and wishing he was there with her, even as she imagined for the millionth time what Mulder's touch might feel like. One she had had, could have again, the other? 

Scully's hand began to stray up her thigh and at the sudden realization of what she about to do she jumped off the bed and began to search through her bags for her robe.

"A bath, I need a bath," she mumbled as she headed into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~  
 _I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho_  
 _I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said_  
“Real World” by Matchbox Twenty  
~~~~~~~~~

Skinner shifted in his seat with a contented sigh. Since he wasn't flying on business he was able to secure a First Class seat, and have room for his large body. He stretched his legs out and sipped the drink the flight attendant handed him.

He was running, flying, again. This time, however, it was towards danger rather than away. He had no choice but to go to her now. There was no reason to worry if he was taking advantage or making a mistake. If his need to play hero was an excuse. To figure out if was in love with his beautiful agent or just in lust. 

It was out of his hands. He had to do this. That knowledge, along with his sumptuous seating, helped him settle in for as much rest as he could get now as he embarked on his circuitous route to San Diego.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Scully lay back in the tub, letting the warm, bubbled water undulate against her skin. Faint strains of Mozart came through the open door of the bathroom, as did light. This morning she had chosen to keep the lights off in the bathroom as she tried to soak away her exhaustion and worries.

She had relationships in the past, relationships filled with heat and passion, but it had been so long she had forgotten what it felt like to be in almost constant physical need. Since her break up with Jack Willis and her subsequent assignment to the X Files she had poured all that passion into her work, even more than she had ever done before. Always dedicated to her studies and work she had kept a portion of herself unburdened and able to have a private life. It was Jack's inability to do the same that had driven them apart. 

Ever since she had become "Scully" rather than Dana, she had come to be just like Jack.

Then again, "They" had also forced it all to become a part of whole life, by abducting her, killing her sister, and the various other manipulations and dangers over the years. Now, she was no longer able to search inside herself and find the Dana underneath it all. The person, the woman, had long been in hiding. Somehow, in a few tumultuous days in Tennessee that had all changed.

It wasn't a very dangerous case, not by their usual standards. Mulder, of course, had taken it over that line and risked his sanity and life. Still, it wasn't something she expected to take home with her at night, unless the unthinkable happened. Which of course it did. All those bodies, all those wasted lives.

_Just the sidekick in lifetime after lifetime._

Scully closed her eyes, remembering. Unable to stop herself from obsessing on it. A shudder ran through her body and she sank deeper into the warm waters.

Then Skinner had come and saved her from the abyss. He had held her up and sustained her through what would have been a long, tortuous night. Mulder mourning the loss of his soulmate on the other side of the wall. What would she have done if he wasn’t there? Offered Mulder comfort, been rebuffed, and then what? Lay on the bed with the covers pulled up to her neck trying and failing to fall asleep. Feeling cold and alone? Pretending she wasn’t so deeply hurt by Mulder’s imaginings of his past, because to feel that way wasn’t logical?

Scully might not be the psychologist, but even she could see that when someone repressed their emotions for so long they were bound to explode at the slightest provocation. Somehow, Skinner had gone from distraction to something else entirely and now that the walls had been breached she didn't know how to stop the tide of, well, what exactly? 

Anger, sadness, confusion, hurt, disappointment. All wrapped up in a ball of lust that even now wouldn’t go away as the water she lay in cooled.

Her hand glided under the water from her wet thigh to the place between her legs and with a sigh she let go of her mind's meanderings. Very slowly she began slide her fingers up and down between her folds. The slight touch sending sparks through her body and obliterating her ability to think coherently. She could only feel, and the oblivion was more than welcome.

Gently, she slipped a finger inside her core and began to stroke. She bent her legs at the knee and spread them as far apart as they could get in the bathtub. She arched her back and leaned into her touch. She bit her lip as her finger dived in and out. Too soon she felt herself begin to contract, but like an evil lover she kept her motions slow and steady, drawing out the pleasure.

Despite her restraint her hips began to move to meet her finger thrusts and she soon slipped another finger to join the first.

Immediately she found herself hurtling towards release.

And reality.

Trying to catch her breath Scully leaned back and closed her eyes. Unwilling to face who she had seen and felt in those minutes of passion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skinner finally passed Camp Pendleton in his rental car and was driving just about the speed limit down the 5 South freeway towards La Jolla where he had been told Scully was staying. His mind was so intent on his destination that he was oblivious to the view of the sun shining over the Pacific Ocean and palm trees to his right.

He did take a moment to whimsically wish he had hair for the breeze to blow through his long gone hair as he drove with the windows open to take advantage of the vastly warmer air of the West Coast, even though it was still chilly as the sun rose.

It was a brief whimsy as his mind was still busily putting together what he was going to say and do once he saw Scully. He knew she wasn't going to be happy to see him or have him invading her privacy. Not after they had mutually agreed to end things and let her take some time away to give them both reset.

The one thing he refused to consider was that he might already be too late.

~~~~~~~~~~

Scully turned restlessly in her sleep on the hotel bed. After finishing her bath she had put on her robe and lay down on the bed. She hadn't intended to fall asleep, but had. But her dreams were no relief from her waking thoughts, as her turmoil played out in her sleeping brain. In her dream she was in the basement office and Mulder was showing her a slide show about his newest case. The pictures on the screen were photos of them – moments of closeness between the partners. Then with a flourish of his hand, making sure that Scully was watching the pictures changed to ones of Scully and Skinner in innocent scenes that somehow looked sexually charged. She tried to tell Mulder that there was a perfectly logical explanation, to deny his accusations that she had been playing him all along, that she had always been with Skinner. He refused to listen to her. The images began to speed through images from their cases.   
=Knock, Knock, Knock =

Scully's dream was interrupted by the knock on her door. Still half asleep she palmed her gun and stumbled towards it.

"Who is it?" she asked as she looked through the peephole.

She didn't even hear the answer to the question as her mind froze. In a daze she pulled the door open.

~~~~~~~~~~

Skinner's breath caught in his throat at his first glimpse of her. She was alive, armed, he did his best to ignore the robe and tousled hair. He pushed the door back and stormed past her into the room, his own gun in hand.


End file.
